Better Sleep in My 40s: The Evening Habits I’m Protecting in Perimenopause
Sleep is one of the things I protect most right now. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with it. Years of meditation helped a great deal, and then perimenopause arrived and gave me a new set of challenges. Some nights are good and some aren’t.
What helps me most is having a few rituals that tell my body and mind the day is ending, held loosely enough that they don’t become another source of pressure. These are the ones I come back to.
A dinner window
I aim to eat dinner between 6:30 and 8pm, so it doesn’t creep later into the evening. Eating very late can leave me feeling unsettled when I lie down, and an earlier dinner gives my body time to wind down before bed.
The practical key is having something ready. When there’s already something prepped in the fridge, I’m not deciding what to cook at 7:30 when I’m tired. This is a big part of why I developed my Mindful Meal Prep System. I also write about how I eat through the day in Nourishing Myself in My 40s.
A warm drink after dinner
A calming tea or a warm milky drink is my signal that the evening is slowing down. The ritual matters as much as the drink: making it, holding it, sitting down with it. It tells me it’s time to start relaxing.
If you’re choosing something to sip, keep it caffeine-free. A herbal tea, or warm milk with a little honey or cinnamon, does the job.
Phone down after 8pm
I try to make 8pm my cutoff for scrolling. Without a limit, I can scroll well into the night, and I never feel better for it.
There’s good reason to draw the line. Light-emitting screens can suppress melatonin, the hormone that rises in the evening to help you feel sleepy, and they keep your mind alert and engaged when you’re trying to wind down. Researchers generally suggest screens off for an hour or two before bed. If a full cutoff feels like too much, start by moving 15 minutes earlier each week, and charge your phone across the room so it isn’t within reach.
A bedtime window
I aim to be in bed somewhere between 9:30 and 11pm. A general window works better for me than trying to hit exactly the same minute every night. On evenings when I’ve eaten later, or exercised in the evening, I’ll go to bed a little later. How tired or relaxed I already feel matters too. I’d rather go to bed when I’m properly sleepy than lie there trying to force it.
A change of bedding for the seasons
I’ve become much more aware of how much temperature affects my sleep. As the nights get warmer, the winter duvet comes off and I switch to a coverlet or a lighter blanket. I like being cosy, but I don’t like being too hot.
This matters more in perimenopause. Fluctuating oestrogen can affect the body’s temperature regulation, which is part of why hot flushes and night sweats can show up during this stage. Waking up overheated in the middle of the night keeps me awake longer, so layers I can add or remove easily, and breathable natural fabrics, make a real difference.
A cool, dark, quiet room
I sleep with the fan on, the windows closed and the blinds down, and I keep the room as cool, dark and quiet as I can make it. On a hot, stuffy day I put the aircon on about an hour before bed with the fan circulating the cool air, then turn the aircon off before I get into bed.
A cooler room helps the body’s natural drop in temperature as you fall asleep. If you don’t have aircon, a fan, lighter bedding and a cool shower before bed can help.
A meditation if I feel particularly wired
On the nights I feel overstimulated, I listen to a sleep meditation or the end-of-day affirmations on my podcast, The Seeds You Water. I don’t expect it to put me to sleep. I’m giving my body something slow to follow and my mind somewhere to rest, and that’s often enough to soften the edge.
A set wake-up time
I try to get up at about the same time every day, and I open the blinds straight away so the light comes in. I’m not an early riser, but I don’t like staying in bed too long either.
Sleep experts often say the wake-up time is the anchor. It helps set your body clock, morning light reinforces it, and a consistent wake time tends to shape when you feel sleepy that night. That includes weekends, as far as is realistic. I write more about how I start my days in my wellness habits in my 40’s article.
Embracing the changes
My sleep has changed as I’ve moved through my 40s and into perimenopause. I do what I can to make nights easier, and I try not to be hard on myself when they aren’t. Listening to my body and being kind to myself on the frustrating nights matters as much as any routine.
If your sleep is regularly disrupted, particularly by night sweats or waking that affects your days, it’s worth talking to your GP. There are treatment options, and you don’t have to simply put up with it.
That’s what sleep looks like for me in my 40s.
This article reflects my personal experience and isn’t medical advice.
Sophie Benbow writes about mindfulness, gratitude, mindful eating and intentional living. Through simple daily practices, she helps people create a more connected, grounded and meaningful life. She is the author of The Mindful Meal Prep System. Explore more articles, guided meditations and resources on her website, or listen to her podcast, The Seeds You Water.